abandoned moon station

wow. been a long time since I posted anything here. I just never think of this journal anymore. lots of stuff going on though. too bad I'm too tired and blah to write about it all right now. there are new books aplenty, with more on the way. it's been a cool summer so far and destined to get even cooler.

........static.............

shit. I can't even be weird or witty right now.

zZzZzZzZ

awesome sauce

Yeah, not much going on that you probably don't already know about. My novel House of Fallen Trees will be released next month from www.grindhousepress.com. Really excited about that. Working on a new horror novel too, in addition to a bizarro novel and trying to find a publisher for a collection. We'll see how that goes. Collections don't usually sell that well, so we'll see.

K's mom just had both her knees replaced. Ouch! You know how sometimes when an old person will be bummed about their failing health but then say, "But it beats the alternative!"? Well, fuck that. I think just the opposite. I'm more afraid of old age than of death. I definitely want to die before I get old and then I can say, "It beats the alternative." Old people are the bravest people I know. I'm not brave enough for that shit.

Bury me in a nameless grave, please.

anyway...

I haven't posted here in a while for a couple different reasons. The first reason is that not much has been happening writing-wise. Things are in the pipelines but moving very slowly. I had hoped to have a new book out by now, but I guess it hasn't been in the cards yet. But next month should see the release of the tp version of House of Fallen Trees. That'll be cool, especially for the readers who couldn't afford to pick up one of the limiteds. Another book should follow soon after that, but I'm not sure. We'll have to wait and see.

The second reason I haven't posted here in a while is because I started a new blog and have been there more than here. The new one is not at all writing related though, and so, I won't be sharing it with you guys. It's more about my activist work and because I tend to get harrassed for those things, I'd rather just keep it away from the writing gig. I don't need some asshole fucking with something that has nothing to do with the issues I fight for and against.

Anyway, I hope the second half of the year is more eventful than the first half has been. I definitely need to get some new work out there before everyone forgets me completely.

hangnail

Ohhhhh, baby!

Isn't it funny that some people consider me a "real" writer? Like, I get paid and everything. What a crazy hoax I have managed to pull off. I wonder when they will all discover what an imposter I really am, that my work is just so much silliness scratched into wet sand with a soggy stick.

Won't they be surprised?

No sleep again. Total delirium. Two days now.

I forget what else I was going to say...

When the Foam Solidifies

Trust me, you don't want that to happen.

Spring break is over and it's back to work.

Who wants to stay up all night with me?

Let's Be Bored Together

There is a wind storm going on right now. I'm wondering if we'll lose power. Also wondering if I should have more coffee.

I've decided that I probably have to stop drinking because of the meds I'm on. Even just a few beers makes me violently ill now. The other night I went out and shared a couple pitchers with a friend and thought I would die afterwards. I even passed out, waking up with hallucinations a little while later. Bad mojo for sure. Really sucks but this has been happening for a while. Unless I get off the med...

So, another pointless journal entry from the queen of pointlessness. There is a rabid raccoon in my ear.

gah!!!

Editors! Nag, nag, nag. Then, when they get what they want,-nothing. Dead silence. Some of them treat you like a one-night-stand they are ashamed they ever had. I understand being busy-I really do. But come the fuck on. Months go by. And the kicker is, most of them are also writers, so they KNOW they are treating you like shit. It's just so rude. And I'm sure I'm the bitch for complaining about it, but that's okay. It's a role I'm getting used to playing.

Seriously though. I only have so much patience. "All I'm asking for-is a little repect."

Okay. I feel better now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

BUT I DON'T WANNA!!!!

Can you hear me whining/screaming that from wherever you are in the world? If not, that's pretty surprising.

I'm editing a book (my own) which is never fun. Making the changes that an editor has requested isn't the problem though. It's the fact that, if I'm working on a book I haven't read for a while, then I want to change EVERYTHING. I can't believe I wrote such crap. Must make it prettier, nicer, more gory, less gory, italics or no italics? What was I thinking!!!???

Yeah, that's my job. If you want to trade, I'm open to discussing it.

Here's something off the subject:

I wonder how guys feel about being called "son" by other guys-particularly ones who are not their fathers or grandfathers. I think that would annoy me. As in, "Put down the weapon, son." Or "Did you know you have a tail light out, son?" Or "TV will make you puke green chunks, son."

You get the idea.

That would drive me crazy. I think the female equivelant is "young lady," which I can't stand. It's so condescending. The last person to call me young lady was yelling at me and as a result I replied with "old man." It wasn't that long ago either. Maybe a few years. The guy is a serious asshole. Not a funny one. A SERIOUS one.

I'm just rambling in an attempt to avoid work. Did I mention I don't wanna?

Severe Rope Burn & Death

That's what's been happening with me lately. I was out walking my dog and she decided to run AT a car that was also running AT her. The leash locked in a weird way, so I grabbed at the rope part and then three of my fingers were practically smoking. The chucks taken out of two of them-well, let's just say the rope actually cauterized the wounds, it was moving so fast. Not sure if that's common or not, but it's the first time it ever happened to me. The whole time this was going on, I managed to continue having a conversation with one of my neighbors.

We were talking about another neighbor-a guy who I've shared a wall with for the last seven years and who had committed suicide the day before. No one really knows why he did it. His sandals are still sitting out on his back steps-his various gardening tools. I can look up at the window of his spare bedroom at night and see that his computer is still on, the monitor glowing just like always. All these little things. I think about him being on the other side of my wall, first desperate, then dying, then dead. And I was just going along like always, without a clue.

He was happy and cheerful all the time. Or, at least, he pretended he was. He certainly had me fooled.

I hope they're playing disco for him, wherever his is. He loved ABBA and had the license plate to prove it.

Oh, yeah. The dog is fine.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

You want to know the secret? Just do what I do. Call out stupid wherever you find it. Trust me. Works every time.

The Infinite Question

I was having a conversation with a friend last night and "the question" came up again. The same one that is so often put to me. It's this: "Gina, why are you so angry about FILL IN THE BLANK." And here is my answer: "Because no one else is and someone needs to be."

At least it seems like no one else is sometimes, though I know that's not literally true. But it's close enough to piss me off. I would love to be able to just kick back, relax and watch someone else be angry about, say, sexism or racism or speciesism. I would love to say, "Right on! You tell 'em!" But rarely does that happen. What I see is people ignoring it. They can't be bothered. No one steps up to the plate, so I have to. SOMEONE has to.

I know people who say, "Oh, yeah, that's wrong, but I can't focus on that because I don't want that negativity in my life." Which to me is lazy, cowardly and selfish. Completely understandable though. Who doesn't want to be that person sometimes? I would LOVE to be that person.

But I don't have it in me and I think that if more people felt the way I do, then maybe more change would start to happen in the world.

Last night I joked that I was probably born into the wrong era because it seems like all the important, winnable (sp?) wars have already been fought. Not completely won, of course-there are aways more little battles to fight-but others have thrown themselves down on the sword already. The fight to live in a world that is kinder to animals and the environment will not be won. People are just too selfish and will not listen. That is heartbreaking to me, but there it is. It will be the end of us but not enough people give a shit about that. They just want their steaks and for me (and others) to shut up about it.

But, I'm an opinionated bitch and I will never shut up.

I was also told last night that all this "righteous anger" and worry can't be good for my heath. That's probably true but, like I said, if not me, then who?

Yes, I'm sure I'm a huge asshole, but feel free to tell me so anyway. Let it all out. Get pissed. It will do you good.

new month, new guitar

Reminds me of TRON, so I'll be shaking my fist at the calendar all month. Yep.

explode

soon, I will explode. listening to lies and bullshit while smiling and nodding and keeping your mouth shut will do this to you. but eventually, the truth will come out. the question is, will I nudge it along or blow the fuck up? probably both.

I demand to see the manager!

Who's running this joint, anyway? The service is terrible! An update, what? Once a month? At best? This place sucks!

Wow. I'm sleepy. And all the caffeine in the world doesn't seem to be helping. I picked a bad year to quit doing lines. (That's a joke, btw. As if I could afford coke. I'm a fricken writer!)

I should have a regularish (I just made that word up--go me!) update in the nearish (!!!) future. You know, about stories and stuff. But right now, I got nothing to share. Editors, right? Pokey, pokey, pokey! And here I sit, waiting by the phone (not really).

So, blah. See you next month(ish)!