I'm really beginning to wonder if I have what it takes to "go all the way" in the writing biz. Whatever that may mean--which is different things to different people. I'm not even really sure what it means to me. But even at the level I'm at now, I'm finding certain things more than just a little unsavory.
I'm just not comfortable with the amount of self-whoring (for lack of a better term) it seems to entail. I see people, whose work I like and some I even consider friends, just whoring themselves to the point where it makes me nauseous and embarrassed for them. It is painful to see people begging for attention, begging others to buy their books, begging, begging, begging. Nominating themselves for things, for crying out loud.
The whole thing is distressing to me. Is that really what I'll have to do to get people to notice my work? Probably. Will I do it? Never to that degree. I'd rather go back to working a cash register, truth be told.
So maybe I don't have what it takes, after all. And I'm actually glad of that fact. Take it as you will, but I like my dignity exactly as it is, thanks.